Anguish: Bluest funk

uzAnguish: Bluest funk

A deep sadness pervades the soul
The spirit is so crushed within
A river, whose existence was thought to be not, thought impossible to exist, finds its source from deep within yet lies at the very surface
It flows….ceaselessly,
seemingly available in endless and unfathomable quantities,
held back for but a few seconds by a fracturing dam and then it can hold the river no more, the events to follow as of a storm surge
The heart is as having been thrust with a knife, left in there to rot
It burns as though drenched in the hot liquid of Mount St Helens
as though brandished with the fire of Thera
The throat bears up a heavy metal
Her air ways constrict
As do her lungs
leaving the sapien gasping for air
She can hardly breathe
“Abba….”, she calls out in deep distress
“Help….”
Love has failed her
All those words, she had believed with her heart, were but mere words…nothing more
Sorrow takes residence within her as though that were its birth place, as though its first origin comes forth from there
She mourns the loss of one who still breathes
“Abba,….. Papa….” hands moving back and forth on the area of skin beneath which lies the chambers to the heart,
as though to comfort the heart and rub away its pain,
the pain that seems to be her only constant
The pointlessness of such motion,… it does nothing for the heart,
for the pain clings on as for dear life
The irony, as its very life sucks out life,
its very life is the death of the red pump, that precious vascular clock
“Papa,…. désolé,… désolé” for surely it must be of her doing,
“Pardon… pardon..”
Although she understands this- that her love is no more, that her life no longer means what it did, that her world no longer holds the gaze of love and the earth spins though she is cast off from it,
she could not be more lacking in understanding
she could not be thus more perplexed
This breath of life…. a world of pain
Life as of now finds true meaning alone in the word….. Anguish

 

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Saviour and my God.
(Psalm 42:5,11)
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from Him.
(Psalm 62:5)
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