Why the madness

images (38)Why am I the one that has to deal with anger

struggle with hatred

and have the companionship of bitterness

You’re the one in the wrong

You’re the one at fault

You’re the one who lied

And crushed

And left

as though you left nothing

Yes, for you, it is as if nothing ever happened

Like none of it ever existed

Yet I am the one wronged,

Left with wounds

Wounds that will never fully heal

And pain

Pain that assures me I could not have dreamt any of it up

And now, anger … Hatred… Bitterness..

So why

Why

What madness is this the world has doth concocted

Madness indeed

Why am I the one wronged yet the one suffering and struggling

I try to let go

I try to forget as I have been so easily forgotten

Yes I was expendable though it was said that nothing could be more impossible..

that I should never believe such a thing

At the end.. not believing, was my biggest mistake

But how can I forget

It would only mean I lied

just like you

That I spew out words I couldn’t possibly understand

like you did

That I only mean what I say until I am bored

That ‘no matter what’ is nothing but a way to say until you’re not of any importance

That forever is really just till I no longer feel like it

That I love you for all eternity until I couldn’t care less the very next day

-all these thing like you did

No it would only mean my word cannot be counted up- that I am untrustworthy

it would only mean I was just like you

So I cannot forget like you did,,as though you meant nothing

For you meant everything

Even if I tried to forget

And I have tried

….

But when I say something, I mean it

So instead of forgetting

I am left with loss I must forever live with …..

And now too, I am left with my new acquaintances

Oh yes

Acquaintances I am becoming intimately familiar with

Yet I must not be

For my acquaintances only serve to negatively affect me and me only -no they do nothing to you

For Abba will not have it be

But what do my acquaintances care?

for though I plea that they leave me be

All I know is their faithful presence

The waltz with anger

The readings of hatred

And the lullabies of bitterness

Why must I suffer your companionship though I was the one wronged

while the one at fault goes on fleeting and floating like a butterfly

What madness of the working’s of the ways of life

Of this world

Advertisements