Plagues of agony of torment

Why does it never leave me
It comes without warning
I wish not to be
And if I must be
I wish to live in a different world
So I escape to the world of fiction and music and dance
But I can’t remain forever
I wish for the end
No matter the happiness or joyful moments, it lasts but a fleeting second
And then….
I tire of it all
When can I come home
When will I come home